Two RIAA agents are standing outside a bedroom/apartment door.
1: Look, I was drunk, she was high and she's the one who asked me to do it. I didn't even enjoy it.
2: I never want you to speak to my mother again.
1: I said I was sorry!
2: She can't even walk straight anymore! (sighs) Let's just get this guy, and we'll talk about it on the ride back to the office.
1: Okay.
2 pulls out a gun and 1 kicks the door in.
1: RIAA! You're under arrest for music piracy!
Inside the bedroom/apartment is an honest-to-goodness pirate, in a pirate hat and frilly shirt and eye patch and all of that. He is sitting on a swivel chair in front of a computer. A ginormous parrot is sitting on the chair behind him.
PIRATE: Yaaargh!
PARROT: Squaaaak, pieces of eight, squaaak.
1: What the Hell?
2: Music piracy, remember.
1: I didn't think it would actually be a pirate!
2: Sir, you are under arrest for three thousand, one hundred forty one counts of music piracy. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do can and will be --
PIRATE: Avast! Tis a mutiny! Ye be walkin' the plank.
1: Plank? What plank?
Pirate points to the window. One 2x4 is nailed to the windowsill, facing out. It's all wobbly.
1: I am not walking that.
PIRATE: Aye, ye should've thought o' that before ye went and mutinied! Yaaargh!
1: Quit saying Yaaargh!
PIRATE: (dejectedly) Garrr…
2: So what are you doing now? More illegal data transfer?
PIRATE: It be known as piracy in laymen's terms.
2: Okay then. (takes keyboard from Pirate) Let's just see what you have on this computer, shall we?
PIRATE: Ye be infringin' on me constitutional right to privacy…
2: I'll be infringin' on more than ye constitutional right to privacy in about five second if you don't shut up right now!
PIRATE: Aye. But I advise ye to steer clear of ye porn pop-ups rollin' in from the South.
2: (typing) Whatever.
She types in silence for a bit. All of a sudden, Pirate screams and throws his hook-hand through the monitor, breaking it.
PIRATE: Thar be spyware! Abandon ship! Abandon ship!
Pirate runs to jump off of the "plank." The RIAA agents handcuff Pirate and throw him against the wall.
1: You're under arrest for music piracy and general douchebaggery.
PIRATE: Garrr.
2: However, we do have some good news.
PIRATE: Garrr?
1: [hands Pirate an insurance report thing) I just saved a bunch of money on my insurance by switching to Geico!
1 and 2 high-five. The pirate is confused. They drag him out of the room, as he "yaargh"s in protest.